He's Got the Tiny Little Babies

I hate small talk. It’s awkward, shallow and pretty stinking hard to think of topics to talk about.

I love deep conversation. I love hearing stories and discussing matters of the heart. I love hearing people talk about their passion and watching the love shine through their eyes and in their words.

And I absolutely love silence. Sitting outside with someone next to me, no words being exchanged, is probably one of my favorite things.

Growing up, my two most favorite men taught me how to fish, hunt and run. All three require little small talk and plenty of time for life lessons and silence.

Papaw would take me out in his boat or to a fishing hole where we would fish for hours. I probably talked a ton, but he rarely said a word.

There was a sense of security there. His quietness shouted love. His smiles reflected endearment. And when he told stories, his eyes would light up and his words went straight to my heart.

The same with Dad.

He taught me how to hunt and run. It took me some years to get used to being quiet in the deer stand, but now it’s one of my favorite places to be. It could be because the opportunities are few and far between these days, but I’m pretty sure it’s because I’m madly in love with my dad and thoroughly enjoy the silence we share.

There’s something sweet about knowing our minds are running like crazy, but still being overwhelmed with peace simply by being in each other’s presence.

When we run together, we often talk about life. The older I’ve become, the more depth our conversations have. I’ve learned some of life’s best lessons from my dad on our runs.

I think that’s why I’ve come to love being at the baby hospital. I don’t have to make small talk. I can sing to the babies or sit in silence with my boy.

The other day, my little one and I were outside. We are working on building his strength to walk on his own, so taking long strolls is our thing. Up and down stairs, through tall grass and across loose gravel. Every once in a while, I’ll tell him a story, say “I love you,” or “good job, buddy!”

He can’t talk, which only further enhances the silence.

Last week after a really long walk, I sat down in the grass under some shade. I expected him to sit down next to me, but instead, he stretch his arms out, wrapped them around my neck, and crawled in my lap.

Be still, my heart.

So I rocked him.

I hummed Jesus, Lover of My Soul, and prayed Psalm 23 over him.

Over the next 20 minutes, we sat in silence. It was one of the most peaceful moments I’ve experienced. Jesus was there, quietly sitting with us.

The more I hang out with my little man, the more I fall in love with him. I tried my hardest at the beginning of the summer to keep my heart guarded, but it quickly melted when I met him.

He fascinates me. His tics, the odd little ways he moves, his angry little grunt when I do something he doesn’t like and the way I can see his mind running wild by watching his face…

He is such a gift.

He has given me more love than I know what to do with. Our quiet moments have allowed the Lord to speak to me so clearly. Watching him, his every little move, has shown me what it’s like to really love someone.

Just like the days spent with Papaw with a fishing pole in our hands or the hours spent in a deer blind with Dad, the silent walks with my little boy are etching memories in my heart that will never be replaced.

With him, time slows down. The craziness of life calms and all the worries are silenced.

Life begins the moment he wraps his arms around me as I take him out of his crib.

I know that in less than two weeks, I will probably never see him again. I’ll have no control of his days or be able to watch his every move.

That’s when Jesus steps in.

Our precious Heavenly Father.

Oh, how He loves each and every one of us.

He will be the one to watch my little man grow. It will be His hand that heals, His arms that wrap around him, His voice that soothes.

And that, my friends, is the power of Jesus.

I don’t have to worry because He has the whole world in His hands.

Think about that song for a second.

He’s got the sun and the moon in His hands. He’s got the wind and the rain in His hands. He’s got the tiny little babies in His hands. He’s got the whole world in His hands.

You, me, everyone…we are all in His hands. On both sides of the world, at all times, we are in the mighty hands of our Savior.

When I get overwhelmed with the thought of never seeing my babies again, I start to hum those lyrics over and over.

That’s when Jesus starts to slow time, calm the craziness and silence the worries.

He has us in His hands.

That’s more than enough for me.

Precious Father, thank You so much for the gift of love. Praise You for softening our hearts and pouring Your perfect peace into them. Thank You for Your quiet and gentle ways. You are so much more than I could ever imagine, so much greater than words can express. It’s in the silent moments that You speak so clearly. Thank You for allowing time to slow and our minds to be still. Continue to work in our hearts, Father. Let our actions be a reflection of the love You graciously give to us. You are so good, so very good. Thank You for holding us in Your perfect hands.