About a month ago while standing outside the curbside taco stand,
a dear friend of mine shared some wise words with me. “When you graduate, just
go crazy. You’ve got nothing holding you back. No relationship, no kids, no
huge responsibility. Just go, move somewhere new. Go crazy.”
Mind you, he is a Godly man and his meaning of “crazy” does
not line up with the world’s term “crazy.” Don’t panic, people.
The words just go filled
my mind and overwhelmed my heart.
It’s what I had always dreamed of doing but now it seemed
that once someone told me to go, I finally had the permission I had been
longing to receive.
At first, I wanted to get away for selfish reasons. I want to
go on an adventure one last time before reality starts.
**Side note: I graduate in May, but the time span from when
I graduate to when I will take my licensing exam and finally become licensed is
about 4 months. Hence why I am able to get away without starting my big girl
job.
Back to dream land.
I had this Hollywood movie idea of moving to a big city,
working as a waitress, and traveling across the U.S. on the weekends. Kind of
like a “go find myself” type thing.
Then it hit me.
And by “it” I mean Jesus.
Go to Georgia.
I distinctly remember hearing His voice. I was at my Meme’s
the night before my half-marathon and was busy taking her dog out one last time
before we went to bed. I’ll never forget the feeling and chills that ran down
my spine.
Really? Georgia? I guess I’ll just be a small town waitress
like an old country song. Ok, that’s fine. I’m all about being that girl in a
song.
The next day after the race, I put on my charm bracelet. As
I went to clasp it together, I saw my charm of Georgia with a heart in it that
Mom gave to me two years ago when I went to Atlanta for the Passion Conference.
Hmmm. That’s a cute little coincidence.
Two days later, I pop my ear buds in, turn on Pandora to the
oh, so fabulous Michael Buble station and lo! His version of “Georgia on My
Mind” came on.
Starting to get a little freak-ay!
Three days after this, I get a birthday card in the mail
from my Meme.
Guess what it talked about……
Being the perfect peach.
OK JESUS. I HEAR YOU.
I contacted a sweet friend of mine that I spent a week with
in Romania at the baby hospital. Their family lives in Georgia, along with a
few other families I have grown close to thanks to the last two summers. I told
her about what the Lord had placed on my heart and asked for prayer in order to
determine whether this was a selfish dream of mine or if it was truly something
the Lord wanted me to do.
I also let another dear friend know who also lives in
Georgia, plus my parents, and a few friends here in Tyler.
This is just a prayer,
y’all. No set plans or anything. So yeah, just say a little prayer ‘cause it
sounds pretty crazy. Please and thank you.
The more I started to pray about it, the more my plans of
being adventurous and selfish began to fade. I started thinking about how I
could use this summer to work for His kingdom, how I could love His people, let
others know of who He is.
Then I remembered my dreams of doing the World Race, which
is a mission trip consisting of going to 11 countries in 11 months. I went to
the website that I have drooled over for months and started to look at the
numerous routes they had open.
I found one I liked and hit the “apply now” button. I would
head out in July and return 11 months later. THEN I could start real life.
I filled out my contact information but stopped before going
any further. The next day, a recruiter called, left a message, and sent an
email.
I ignored it.
One Sunday afternoon, the husband of a family I’m close to
let me know of their July trip to Uganda. He said, “There are a million reasons
TO go, now you just need to think of reasons NOT to go.”
Touché.
So at this point, I had Georgia on my mind, the World Race,
and now Uganda.
Oy.
On one particular morning run, I began praying through these
options. Then my mind started worrying about the thousands of dollars of loans
I have waiting for me. I freaked out.
Lord, I’ve got to pay
for those! No man will want to marry me with all that. Even if he does, that’s
a lot of money. I’m a cheap date, remember! I won’t be any more with these
loans! I’ll just stay here and work. I’ll be a waitress at three different places,
study hard for the licensing exam, become licensed, and for the next two years,
I’ll work five jobs to pay off all the loans. There! I’m glad that’s settled,
Lord. Thanks for that.
Yeah, you don’t have to tell me.
I’m blaming those idiotic thoughts on lack of coffee.
The next few weeks were spent worrying about life after
graduation. Do I go here? Do I work there?
I had a million plans in mind but nothing sounded right.
The only Truth I could hear in the madness of my mind was the
Lord’s voice saying, “wait, beloved.”
Wait on what, God? Do
you realize graduation is like two months away? If I’m going to move, I need to
find a place to live! If not, I need to start finding jobs! You need to tell me
something!
He was, though. He was telling me to wait. Rest. Listen.
I started to beg and plead with Him, crying out and asking
for Him to take away my dreams, my plans, my desires and to let me hear His
voice.
Show me how to listen
then. I don’t know how, God. I don’t know what it means to wait or to rest.
Dear God, I’m begging You. Please just show me how to do this.
Every time my mind began to think of the summer and the
future, I started to give it to the Lord. When I started to panic about what to
do, I pulled scripture to mind.
If He provides for the
ravens in the sky or the lilies in the field, He will provide for me. He told
the Israelites what to do, He will tell me what to do. David felt lost and
alone, but God was near to Him. He is near to me.
Eventually the chaos started to die down and my heart
started to settle.
Georgia, beloved.
I started to look at organizations in Atlanta that worked
with girls and women who had been sex trafficked. Atlanta is known for having
the highest rate of sex trafficking, but also having the highest sex tracking
outreach organizations. I stumbled upon one and emailed one of the directors. A
few days later, we had a phone conversation and talked about how I would be
providing psychoeducation to the homeless girls, age 18-21, as they come in off
the streets.
She let me know that they would have a place for me if I
chose Georgia for the summer.
I let my dear friend in Georgia know that the pull was
stronger for Georgia.
With a giving heart, she offered up their basement apartment
to me.
I asked a friend of mine here in Tyler if she would want to
rent my apartment for the summer.
She did.
I let one of my supervisors know that I would be interested
in continuing to work with them when I receive my license in August.
With a huge smile on her face, she let told me to update my
resume and that we would be talking soon.
I told her of my plans of moving away for the summer and
asked if it would hinder my chances of working there.
“We know your timeline, girl. That doesn’t bother me one
bit.”
While searching for more organizations, I stumbled across
one that reaches out to the prostitutes. As a volunteer, I can spend my Friday
nights on the streets handing out roses to the prostitutes and telling them of
Jesus, giving them the crisis hotline number, and providing a way out. Another
aspect of the organization allows me to spend Saturday mornings in the hotels
with the girls when they aren’t working, allowing us to build better
relationships with them. Yet another aspect is where I can go into the jails
and minister to the girls who have been arrested. There are still three other
aspects to this organization, all dealing with building relationships with and
sharing the love of Christ with the prostitutes of Atlanta.
I’ve already sent the email asking what I need to do in
order to become a volunteer.
So here we are: I have a place to live in Georgia, someone
to take care of my apartment here in Tyler, a potential job in Georgia for the
summer, an organization screaming my name, and a potential job waiting for me
when I get back.
The doors I had been asking for God to open were indeed
open.
Now it was just a matter of walking through them.
But what about Uganda,
the World Race, the loans?
As soon as fear tried to sneak into my mind, the Lord
quickly shut it down.
Don’t worry, beloved. I will take care of you. Just take one step at a
time. You have My hand. Don’t be afraid.
This weekend, my parents came up to Tyler to support me
while I ran another race. I laid out my plans for them on Friday night. At this
point, they really only knew I wanted to get away for the summer and that
Georgia was one of the prayers. None of my plans or that I’ve been talking with
people. Nothing.
Y’all, I basically had a presidential speech going.
Here’s what I’ll be
doing, here’s how I’ll be doing it, this is the plan for before, during, and
after. Here are the names of my agents, body guards, and police escorts. And
finally, while it sounds like I know what I’m doing, I’m actually pretty
terrified and need to know if you think it’s ok because I feel like I’m two
years old and don’t even know how to tie my shoe laces.
Naturally, they gave the ok that I’m sure I didn’t truly
need but desperately wanted. They have been my rock for the last 24 years and
while I know I’m technically an adult who can make my own decisions, I would be
lost without their guidance. Maybe it’s an age thing, maybe it’s a maturity
thing, but I’m realizing now more than ever just how important my parents are
to me.
So there you have it, folks. This is my moving away and being crazy story.
I’ve let my dear friends in Georgia know that I’ll be coming
home to them, as well as the organizations I plan to work for/volunteer at that
I’ll be moving to good ol’ ATL.
One by one, I’m walking through the doors the Lord has so
graciously opened.
Yes, I have some backup plans in mind. If I’m unable to be
paid at one organization after all, I’m not opposed to being a waitress. Then
this kind of would satisfy my romantic side of wanting to be THAT girl in a
song. You know, the one that works at a small town diner that the singer falls
in love with and finally asks her out after he comes in every day for two weeks
straight and orders nothing but coffee that he doesn’t even drink because he
really just wants to see her……
Shhhh. Don’t tell me that would never happen. Just let me
keep dreaming.
The summer is less than two months away and while there is
still so much to do, I’m confident that the Lord will take care of me. He
always has, He always will.
I know this will be another difficult summer. I’m sure I
will experience things that are pretty brutal and disgusting.
But the Lord has my heart and wherever He needs me is where
I will go.
Please pray with me as the journey continues to unfold.
I encourage any of you reading this to start praying about
how the Lord can use you this summer. Well, not JUST this summer, but every
day. Ask for Him to give you the strength to do hard things, to go wherever it
is that He needs you to go, and to give you the courage to actually follow Him.
He will never let you down. You’ll be amazed at all He can
do when you take one little step outside of your comfort zone in obedience.
Like another wise friend of mine has told me, “where your
fears are, there is freedom on the other side.”
Don’t be afraid. The Lord will walk you through the hard
stuff and will be waiting for you with arms opened wide when you make it to the
other side.
“I will instruct you
and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye
on you.” Psalm 32:8
